The following is something I found online and hope will be helpful to anyone who got the short straw in their family of origin.
A family scapegoat is a member blamed and shamed for family problems, often experiencing consistent negative attention, low self-esteem, and difficulty expressing emotions. They may internalize negative messages, leading to self-doubt and self-sabotage.
Here's a more detailed look at the characteristics:
1. Blame and Shame:
Consistent Blame:
The scapegoat is frequently blamed for family issues, even if they are not responsible, according to TalktoAngel.
Negative Attention:
They receive more negative attention and criticism than positive reinforcement.
Internalized Shame:
This constant blame leads to a deep sense of worthlessness and self-doubt, according to Verywell Mind.
2. Isolation and Neglect:
Feeling Ignored:
The scapegoat often feels like they are not seen or valued by their family.
Lack of Support:
They may not have anyone to turn to for help or support when they are being blamed or hurt.
Difficulty Expressing Feelings:
The constant fear of being further blamed can make it difficult for them to express their true emotions.
3. Emotional and Psychological Effects:
Low Self-Esteem:
The constant negativity erodes self-worth.
Trust Issues:
They may struggle to trust others, especially those who have been critical or dismissive, according to a HuffPost article.
Anxiety and Depression:
The constant stress and emotional burden can lead to mental health challenges.
Self-Sabotage:
They may unconsciously sabotage their own efforts to avoid disappointment or further blame.
4. Other Characteristics:
"Different" or Resisting:
They may be seen as different or rebellious in some way, which can be a reason for them being targeted, according to HuffPost.
Heightened Sensitivity:
They may be highly sensitive to criticism or rejection, according to HuffPost.
Seeking Justice:
They may have a strong sense of justice and may feel a need to right wrongs.
Caretaking:
They may take on more responsibilities than they should, trying to please their family.