Psychology & Self-Help Forum

I think my marriage might be toast, I know no one's really on here anymore but I need to get this out cause there's no one to really talk to about it and if I don't say it somewhere I might just slit a fucker's throat or two

So I'm sitting out in the loungeroom with my 1 yr old, it's about 6:30 am, the TV is on and she's watching kids song shows.
My wife is asleep in the bedroom and I have her phone cause the kids cartoon was originally being played on that. And sometimes I'll just go in and read her convos with my mum cause I like to see what they talk about/say to each other, and I noticed a dude had messaged her, this is a dude that blatantly clearly wants to fuck her, and I've told her I wanted her to not talk to him anymore on two separate occasions, but apparently what I want or how I feel doesn't mean shit.

I didn't wanna open that convo cause the recent message would be read and she'd know I snooped, so I went to a recent convo she had with her friend and it was basically all there, the convo with the dude and they were talking about it, I only skimmed cause at this point my blood was boiling and I was literally seeing red, but the gist of it is they were reminiscing about sex they had 10 years ago while I, her husband, was asleep next to her. She said to the friend that she wouldn't choose him over me, but she kinda already is right? When I said don't talk to this cunt anymore and you still are, how am I supposed to trust she isn't going and fucking him while I'm at work and shit? There was no pics exchanged that I saw, not for his lack of trying and she just gave answeres like "ew no lol" not exactly a huge deterant either.

So I dunno, part of me wants to try and save things, the other part wants to go nuclear and just move back home, with our kid. Why should I be the one that misses out on her growing up when I wasn't the one all but cheating?

She's at her mums house now but who knows maybe she's out getting railed by the dude, I'll never know, if she's smart she'll be deleting stuff too, who knows what I haven't seen? I don't trust her anymore guys. And I don't wanna live life as a cuck pretending it's all okay. What should I do?

theforsaken wrote: ↑Sat Sep 14, 2024 4:28 am She said to the friend that she wouldn't choose him over me, but she kinda already is right?

Wrong. She's still with you but she's flirting with him.

A first child, no matter how lovely she is, is a milestone that puts a great strain on romance. Until your wife got pregnant it was just the two of you; now you both have a major commitment and it's often a great test of the relationship.

Her self-image has changed. She's gone from single girl to married woman and then to mummy. She's probably just looking for reassurance that she's still attractive to other men.

Naturally I can't say categorically that she isn't having an affair, but one thing I do know: if you don't trust her, your marriage is effectively over.

My feeling is that she's got into the mumsy role and it feels as though her life is over. In a lot of ways, it is.

Maybe it's time to up the romance, remember how things were when you met, make a big fuss of her, and put suspicion out of your mind.

Candid wrote: ↑Sat Sep 14, 2024 8:52 am

theforsaken wrote: ↑Sat Sep 14, 2024 4:28 am She said to the friend that she wouldn't choose him over me, but she kinda already is right?

Wrong. She's still with you but she's flirting with him.

A first child, no matter how lovely she is, is a milestone that puts a great strain on romance. Until your wife got pregnant it was just the two of you; now you both have a major commitment and it's often a great test of the relationship.

Her self-image has changed. She's gone from single girl to married woman and then to mummy. She's probably just looking for reassurance that she's still attractive to other men.

Naturally I can't say categorically that she isn't having an affair, but one thing I do know: if you don't trust her, your marriage is effectively over.

My feeling is that she's got into the mumsy role and it feels as though her life is over. In a lot of ways, it is.

Maybe it's time to up the romance, remember how things were when you met, make a big fuss of her, and put suspicion out of your mind.

It's all good, long story short we had a chat and she blocked that guy, I've checked her phone since and I haven't seen any evidence she's still talking to him And I don't think she is cheating or cheated.

I don't get that vibe from her that she feels her life is over with the "mumsy role", I think she likes it, honestly I think she genuinely likes being a parent more than I do, my life has become being a pinch purse so we can afford the next bill or the next fuckin thing the kid needs, and washing fucking bottles, fuck me.. washing bottles and slow traffic is the bane of my fuckin existence.
And to top that off we're recently expecting again (and i do think it's mine lol, my daughter is basically me with different eye colour and hair, so there's no doubts there either ) so it only gets worse money wise, I need a fucking lotto win or something cause shit's getting ridiculous.

It takes two to make a baby, my friend.

theforsaken wrote:my life has become being a pinch purse so we can afford the next bill or the next fuckin thing the kid needs, and washing fucking bottles, fuck me.. washing bottles and slow traffic is the bane of my fuckin existence.

What did you expect?

And to top that off we're recently expecting again

Maybe once the next one has arrived you can make the big decision: have a vasectomy, because removal of the uterus is a more complicated procedure.

This is no longer a good world to bring new lives into.

Candid wrote: ↑Thu Dec 19, 2024 11:35 pm This is no longer a good world to bring new lives into.

And yet, the paradox of that sentiment is that we need all of the White humans that we can get!

Where are you, theforsaken?