Psychology & Self-Help Forum

"Many neurotypical, or “ NT,” women who are married to men with undiagnosed ASD have a common experience. They begin to realize that their partner is neurodivergent. When they try to explain to others what their life is like with an autistic partner, no one believes them. "

Mind you, H has been diagnosed but still the article may be helpful.

It was I who diagnosed him, soon after we were married. He meets all the criteria.

He's also VERY deaf. It's getting harder and harder to communicate with him.

Fulgurator wrote:"Many neurotypical, or “ NT,” women who are married to men with undiagnosed ASD have a common experience. They begin to realize that their partner is neurodivergent. When they try to explain to others what their life is like with an autistic partner, no one believes them."

His mother knows H isn't normal. To my surprise she told me years ago: "And I had two of them!"

I didn't know H's father before he started losing his marbles so I can't comment on that.

To me, what appears to be like genius could be simply the phenomenal memory H has. He's an extraordinary Mr Fix-It so I'll put my hand up to having become lazy. That's partly "he can do it faster and better than I can", and partly the TBI I had nine years ago.

Cassandra interested me when I first heard of her. She was an ancient Greek prophetess but nobody would believe her prophecies as the gods put a curse on her gifts.
My memory is good but my association is better still. That is, I see conections and similarities. I often spot tiny errors in ancient texts. These skills usually have no social value.

Fulgurator wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2024 9:34 pm My memory is good but my association is better still. That is, I see conections and similarities. I often spot tiny errors in ancient texts. These skills usually have no social value.

Yes, H has told me he hasn't got a phenomenal memory, he 'simply' makes connections. I tell him not everyone can do that and he's baffled.

Spotting errors in books is more my province than his. He does the numbers, which since my head injury I can't do at all, whereas I had a career in editing. I'm trained to see written mistakes, a very negative 'take'.

I agree, there's no social value in these 'gifts'. Both of us inadvertently offend other people. As well as each other...

Well, as an example, I noticed "salvis titulis" and "servatis titulis", which are both taken as meaning, = "the inscriptions intact". So, salvare and servare are the verbs.
I had a feeling the first one could have been intended to mean "save the inscriptions or except the inscriptions". The first was written in the 2nd century AD but the other probably the 5th century.
I'm able to associate all these texts to create comparisons as any similarity just clicks.
The problem is my observations won't interest even academia. Latin is far from a priority today and most of that research took place in the 19th century. Who cares about subtleties in a dead language? Yet with Asperger's you find minority interests such as ornithology or obscure history.

Fulgurator wrote: ↑Sat Dec 21, 2024 8:05 pm Who cares about subtleties in a dead language? Yet with Asperger's you find minority interests such as ornithology or obscure history.

I agree.
I'm supposed to be neurotypical but I have plenty of quirks and don't suffer fools gladly. I am, however, rather more shall we say polite than H is. Over the years I think we've become more like each other. It took me a long time to appreciate his good (and tbh, useful) qualities. I can't tell whether he's become generally easier to get along with. Truth is he's friendlier, more gregarious and outgoing than I'll ever be. It sounds awful, but nowadays I find most people's conversation boring in the extreme. The worst offenders are undeterred if I start walking away while they're still flapping their jaws, and apparently never take offence.
I do perfectly well alone for long periods.

Asperger Syndrome is harder to diagnose by far than imagined. For a start, the symptoms are almost identical to find in children who will develop full onset of Schizophrenia around age 20. Even Asperger was mistaken over one child who later had to be recognised with Schizophrenia.
Then you have slow processing Schizophrenia where the disorder does change the personality but too slowly to notice. With Asperger's, the condition is static. There is no change or any later psychosis.
As evidence, in my own case in childhood I had all the Asperger symptoms, including clumsy motor co-ordination. However, unlike Asperger's children, I suffered foreboding, pathological fear and nightmares. Those are symptoms of childhood Schizophrenia. It seems I had both conditions. At first, I viewed myself as just Asperger pathology but now I can see other co-morbid symptoms.
It gets up my nose, therefore, that people started to create forums a few years ago and refer to people as "Aspies" as if one solitary condition defines your phenotype, or your complex diagnosis. Also, the nonsense about "being on the spectrum" is wrong since either you're autistic in some way or you're not. I don't see Elon Musk as fitting Asperger's criteria as he's too socially orientated and connected to mainstream. He's quirky but seems to me not clinically affected. Whereas Grigory Perelman is certainly Asperger.

Fulgurator wrote: ↑Sat Dec 21, 2024 8:05 pm Who cares about subtleties in a dead language? Yet with Asperger's you find minority interests such as ornithology or obscure history.

I agree.
I'm supposed to be neurotypical but I have plenty of quirks and don't suffer fools gladly. I am, however, rather more shall we say polite than H is. Over the years I think we've become more like each other. It took me a long time to appreciate his good (and tbh, useful) qualities. I can't tell whether he's become generally easier to get along with. Truth is he's friendlier, more gregarious and outgoing than I'll ever be. It sounds awful, but nowadays I find most people's conversation boring in the extreme. The worst offenders are undeterred if I start walking away while they're still flapping their jaws, and apparently never take offence.
I do perfectly well alone for long periods.